I just got hauled into my first ever NCAA basketball tournament bracket picking contest. I hadn't even heard of some of the schools in the tournament. I have no idea what color most of the uniforms of the schools are. I'm pretty sure one of those schools is just a mail-order diploma scam. And yet, here I am . . . picking winners and losers. I really know almost nothing of the game of basketball. I mean, what's a foul? Seems like there's a lot of pushing and shoving and jostling around, and then some dude barely grazes the uniform of his opponent and the ref blows the whistle. Oh yeah, another thing - why is it that the first 18 minutes of the game goes by with almost no stoppage of play, and then the last two minutes takes like three hours to complete?

I guess this means that some of my dude points are being taken away right about now. So while we're at it . . . I know more about basketball than I do about hockey. I know more about hockey than I do about dating (which, as it turns out is a good thing, given that I'm lucky enough to have gotten married). I know more about dating than I do about plumbing. I know less about plumbing than I do about poetry. I know less about poetry than I do about interior decorating. I know less about interior decorating than I do about hair care products. I know less about hair care products than I do about cooking. I know less about cooking than I do about my feelings.

In my favor, I do know how to change the oil in my car. I do own a chainsaw. I do like football and baseball. Oh, and I don't like romantic comedies.

I'm gonna go try growing some chest hair now.