As I've moved around the blog world over the past year-plus, I've noticed that at times some of my favorite writers will say something to the effect of "I'm going to go into quiet mode for a spell. I'll post less regularly here for a while." I've been noticing that that's pretty much what I've done over the past month or so . . . except that in my case, it has been an intentional or purposeful cutting back from blogging. In part, it's a result of my new work situation - it's been tough for me to develop any kind of rhythm with a work schedule that is different from day to day, week to week. I've also been a lot less oriented toward just spilling my thoughts here lately. No good reason for this, but it is what it is. I'm sure it means something - I just haven't taken the time to think it through.

In general, I'm going through a couple of phases simultaneously. In one sense, I've been encouraged by our weekly gathering, and it's feeling more and more like we might actually have a core group to work with. One of the things that's come out of our group organically in the past couple of weeks is a desire to serve others. Some of our folks still have a bit too much of an institutional mindset in this regard, and they want to see us put together a more or less formal "program" for service. For now, we've been able to keep things simple, though. I am getting the feeling that at least a few of our folks are beginning to think of this gathering as a primary experience of the body of Christ. More and more community. We have some concerns, and some things we're not content with yet, but there's a good bit to be encouraged about.

The other phase I think I'm sensing is isolation. Due mostly to being busy and tired a lot lately, I haven't put my own effort into calling, e-mailing, and meeting with people who I know I can talk openly with. I've gotten one or two e-mails from others, but it's been quiet on the receiving end. This isn't intentional (like my lack of blogging), but I've begun to feel the effects. It's not a severe depression or anything, but I do feel a bit distant from people who I'd like to feel close to as a lifestyle. I have to face the ugly reality that I'm looking for what these relationships can give to me. But at the same time, I know that I get a lot out of the relationships, even when we're not talking about "my stuff." I am in an important place of decision, that I need to really be aware of: I can choose to put the effort into connecting with others, because it is a priority for me, or I can choose to take about four more steps toward isolation and cut myself off from what my community of relationships can pour into my life.

I hope all of this isn't too melancholy. I'm not navel-gazing or self-absorbed - just kind of doing a reality check "out loud."

"As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend." ~Proverbs 27:17