Thursday, June 19, 2003
I'm beginning to gain some clarity on a personal issue that's been dragging me down a bit recently. It's a bit hard to explain, so bear with me. I am a fairly bright individual, and have a capacity for some deep thoughts now and again. I'll freely admit that I am more often inspired by encountering the thoughts of some of my favorite writers (bloggers included) than I am by my own profundity. If I'm good at anything in terms of the thought world, it's fusing a variety of thinking from different people and different genres of life. One of my favorite words is up there in the subtitle of my blog -
Integration.
But in the recent past it seems like I've been overly focused on the tasks at hand and I've stopped allowing myself to be revolutionized and stirred up by big thoughts. It's a little ironic in that I've actually done a good bit more reading than normal for me over the past few weeks. I've read everything from N.T. Wright and Eugene Peterson to John Maxwell and Rick Warren (there's a good explanation for each of these, I promise).
I think that is part of the reason that over the past few days, in particular, I have sat down at the computer to post some thoughts here and I've come up dry. Heck, I even resorted to disclosing my oh-so-slow internet connection issue.
So here's my little way of kicking my own butt in front of the world. Quit being so dang lazy with your thinking already! You have some powerful good stuff going on in your life, and you're in community with others that offer stimulating conversation, reading, worship, and life. INTEGRATE!!! Start thinking of new possibilities when it comes to problems in your life and for crying out loud, it wouldn't hurt you to focus less on your own problems and more on serving others. If you can't get at least a little excited about what God is doing all around you, then dude, you're a waste of skin - there are rocks crying out in worship louder than you are.
Whew! That felt gooooood. Nothin' gets me going like a little kick in the pants now and then. Too bad I had to do it to myself this time. I just hate living such a pitiful small life sometimes. And in case I should be misunderstood here, I have no need to be recognized by others for having big thoughts or any thoughts at all. I just happen to know that I'm capable of big thoughts, I enjoy big thoughts, and based on those two things, I am responsible before God for those big thoughts (which are obviously quite small to him).