Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Here's a little window into my soul: I'm nothing if not a big-time chicken. I hate taking risks. I don't like going out on a limb - in fact I've never been one for climbing trees in the first place. Mostly I think it's because I hate failure (as Eminem says in his big theme song for the movie 8 Mile, "Success is my only @#$% option, failure's not.").

That may be the most significant thing about church planting for me - I am doing something risky. Yeah, well, except for the fact that even if I completely fail and end up unemployed, Michelle's salary alone still puts us in the top 10% of the world's family income level. And except for the fact that even if I completely fail, I still have a loving and merciful God who is for me in every way possible and will not reject me. Oh yeah, there's also the fact that even if I completely fail, I am highly unlikely to be imprisoned or physically endangered because of my religious beliefs. Heck, even if I had the intention (which I don't) of planting a trendy candle-burning, sofa-sitting, labyrinth-praying, kumbyah-singing mega-church and I completely fail, I'm still pretty likely to at least end up with a decent-sized house church. So the question that begs to be asked here is whether I'm risking much at all.

Yes, I'm trading in some comfort, but I'm gaining a life of vitality and faith in God's provision. Yes, I'm cashing in many years worth of respectability within the traditional church mindset, but I'm gaining the freedom of creativity and fun. Yes, I'm giving up the tried and true formulas for success and a well-mapped road in front of me, but I'm gaining the opportunity to make stuff up as I go along and watch how God makes something beautiful out the mess of things I give to him.

It's a tragedy that the church has become such a safe place that so few are willing to risk. It's a tragedy that it's taken me this long to take this kind of risk myself. Believe me, this post is not some self-congratulatory rant about how the church sucks but I don't.

Have I really thought that God would not somehow honor my desire to serve him? Have I really thought that He might reject me if I didn't measure up? Have I really thought that success as the world sees it is more important than living a life of impact? Have I really been so protective of my reputation? Have I really been that bent on pursuing my own comfort? Sadly, there are plenty of yeses to cover all of those questions and more like them.

posted by Steve at 4:06 PM
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spirit farmer data

I'm Steve Lewis. This used to be my blogging home. My online home is now at SpiritFarmer.com. When this blog was my active online home, I lived in Seattle. Now I live in London, UK. I follow Jesus (poorly most of the time), worship simply, read a lot, watch culture, go to school, listen to music, write, enjoy art, and drink a lot of coffee.
e-mail me: spiritfarmer@gmail.com
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seattle spots

victrola coffee
zoka coffee
university of washington
church of the apostles
quest church
sanctuary church
shoreline vineyard


sites i visit

off the map
theooze
next-wave
metacritic
nt wright



a few of the blogs in the feedreader

tallskinnykiwi
jason evans
joe boyd
kevin rains
alan creech
chris marshall
bill bean
eugene cho
jordon cooper
dwight friesen
john chandler
amy palmer
ryan bolger
rudy carrasco
ryan sharp
sings in the sunshine
rick bennett
scot mcknight
karen ward
alan hirsch
dan kimball
petey crowder



i'm reading it

colossians remixed
africa unchained



i finished reading it - 2007

generation me
jesus and the restoration of israel
god's continent
glocalization
globalizing theology
gustavo gutierrez: essential writings
jesus and the eyewitnesses
garlands of grace
twenty poems to nourish your soul
the black swan
dancing in the streets
made to stick
signs in contemporary culture
hit the bullseye
revolution
the politics of jesus
readings in christian ethics
toward old testament ethics
the kite runner
principles of conduct
velvet elvis
the irresistable revolution
they like jesus, but not the church
the great omission
ishmael
charisma: the gift of grace, and how it has been taken from us
the starfish and the spider
a perfect mess
the world cafe
the new faces of christianity
leaving church
journeying in faith
the creed
creators
transforming mission
metaphors we live by
foolishness to the greeks
personal knowledge



states i've spent time: 2007

washington
texas
british columbia
oregon
california
georgia
oh yeah, denmark, too



i wrote it

managing conflict in the 'new world'
music review: over the rhine
film review: bonhoeffer
music review: fighting jacks
film review: the passion of the christ
how reality tv changes lives
the best tv article you've ever read
corks & caps: a wine lover's story of change
america's idols
random, disorganized thoughts about life after the katrina disaster
missional . . . plain and simple
on becoming post-gnostic



i blogged it

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