Seems like some of the postmodern deconstructionist thinking has come full circle for some people out there, and the notion of blogging is being questioned. I've read people challenging their own reasons for blogging, challenging others' reasons for blogging, defending the credibility of blogging, etc. Deconstructing all this stuff is good and helps distill motives and values . . . as long as people are actually willing to be deeply honest with themselves.

I read a post a few months back from one of the hottest new bloggers on the block lamenting that his daily hit count had dropped from about 1,200 per day to only about 500 per day. Poor guy. If his motive is to get as many hits as possible, then perhaps he should consider some marketing strategies.

I read another post the other day from someone forecasting that the end may be near for his blog. I guess it bores him. Fine, I guess. Except for the fact that he has argued very effectively and consistently for the communal nature of the blogging world. If it is legitimate community, is it good to pull the plug? Perhaps he's feeling the pressure of all the people out there that look to him daily for his new thoughts and links. I get that (not from personal experience, mind you), but when you've promoted blogging and defended blogging and helped to define some of the possibilities of blogging, it may be important to ask about the nature of responsibility that you now have because of it. You don't have to be tied to it indefinitely, but try posting only once a day or every other day instead of fifteen times a day.

Let this be very clear - I'm not trying to get on a soap box, because I have a LOT of screwed up thoughts and motives myself. And if I'm as honest about motives as I am challenging others to be, then I have to admit that one of the reasons I'm taking others to task is in order to deconstruct my own inner blogger.

Do I want people to read my blog? My initial response is that I don't really care much. O.k., so why don't I just open up my word processor and keep a journal there? Why do I feel the need to have a public site to gush into? Because, yes, I do want others to read. I'm not looking for a daily hit count that exceeds the number of dollars I make in a month. Heck, I'd be happy with a hit count that exceeded the number of dollars it takes to buy a ticket to an NFL game. I would think I'm famous . . . and then I'd start feeling pressure and want to stop blogging. Actually, my desire for others to read is to get some help sorting out my thoughts and questions and opinions on some things. The more, the merrier. If I want more hits (and I'm not sure that I really do), then I'll work harder to generate thoughts worth reading. If I want to start more conversations in the blogosphere, then I'll start pushing more buttons or telling more jokes or spending more time daily posting links.

One of the primary motives for my blog is to force myself to do some thinking "out loud." When I have random thoughts rattling around in my brain, I usually lack the discipline to articulate them in a way that leads me anywhere. This is my domain for articulation. I wish I had other outlets for this - other safe places, but God has me in a context where many of my thoughts and opinions would so offend people that it would be divisive. It's good to learn to control my mouth . . . but I also need an outlet to say things like "We need to take the American flag out of our church's sanctuary" and "Our church choir sucks" and "My home group is the only aspect of my present experience of church that remotely resembles real community."

More thoughts later. Until now, please join me in my new campaign to make Spirit Famer the hot new blogger on the block. Thank you for your support.