Sunday, November 10, 2002
I've been noticing something in my heart lately that I don't like. It's a demand that all people at all times think well of me. It expresses itself when I brag about the things God is doing in my life as though I were doing them myself. It expresses itself when I tell someone something that might be disappointing to them, and then I follow it up with eighteen reasons why I am justified in telling them that. It expresses itself when I look for accolades for my "humble service."
The fact is that I will make decisions in life. Some will be good and some not. Some will be Spirit-driven and some not. Most of the time, I will be too impatient in my decision-making process to know ahead of time whether the decisions are good and Spirit-driven or not. That's one thing I hope to be able to remedy. However, in the meantime, I need to work on how I represent myself and my decision making to others - especially when others don't like the decisions I've made. I don't need to justify myself when I am right. I don't need to defend myself when I am wrong. I need only to speak words of grace and genuine humility. Oops - that means I need to actually
have grace and humility active in my life first.
Whether or not anyone thinks well of me should not be my concern - peoples is gonna think what peoples is gonna think - get over it already.
