Saturday, July 27, 2002
O.k., finally finished some preparations for this weekend. Man, it's been a hectic week, but hopefully a productive one in kingdom terms.
I'm back in a mode of wondering what God's role for me in this blessed mess might be. Should I stay or should I go now? If I take a survey view of the past 16 months of my life, it's clear that God has opened up wonderful new avenues of thought and ministry opportunity. I'm just still grasping for the clues that show me how and where and when to apply myself appropriately to them.
I think I've become less sure of many things that I've taken for granted for far too long. I question the basics more. I quesiton my assumptions. I think less and less along linear lines. I am more honest with myself and others - even when it hurts. All of this has produced a long-term nagging discomfort . . . except that I've learned to have comfort in the unanswered questions - almost to the point that I'd love to never know the answers (until the day when my faith becomes sight).
One of the writers I've enjoyed so much over the years is
Larry Crabb. He talks about this nagging discomfort thing a lot. I think I'm slowly figuring out how good it is to feel this bad.
