Saturday, June 01, 2002
I don’t know the source of it, by I am feeling pressure. Pressure to stay in the game and play well by the rules. That pressure comes mostly from others who perhaps have the sense that I am more a part of the game than I actually am. However, I have my own internal pressure that makes me feel conflicted and confused. That pressure is to stand strong in my “loyal opposition” - my desire to move strongly in new directions with new results. I don’t want to sell out. I have a small fear, though, that I won’t be able to recognize it if I do sell out – that I’ll just wake up one realizing that I’ve bought into and committed myself to a system other than that which God had me set up for. I need more faith and more discernment to make wise decisions and choices. I need to talk less and listen more.
