Wednesday, May 01, 2002
It looks like I'm going to go to the Seed Stories conference tomorrow in Orange County. Recent and future church planters hanging out to discuss how things are and how things need to be.
I've had a hard time deciding whether or not to even go to this thing because I don't have a crystal clear word from God to plant a church. I do know that it is consistent with where I've been over the past year, and I do know that the kind of church I would plant if I planted one would be consistent with who I am.
I do feel overwhelmed much of the time. I feel an enormous pressure - mostly self-imposed, I know. I have the pressure of doing my job well where I am . . . which at times means taking turns beating a dead horse and then trying to resurrect the poor thing. But I also have this pressure - that I am convinced is a Spirit driven desire - to be active in a church ministry that is relevant to "my" culture and "my" people. I want to integrate the double life I've been leading . . . being a product and member of my generation (of demography and thought), and being a lover and follower and disciple of Christ. Those two realms are not mutually exclusive.
There are more thoughts in my head than I know what to do with. I guess that's the joy of being me.
